Emergency Program One
by Sally Scotte
Summary: Spoilers for Journey's End, before I even explain the story. Donna outsmarts the Doctor in a way.


"Donna, you're going to burn..." The words haunted him, memories of the last time he'd spoken them flooding into his head as his friend sat thrashing beside him. "Look at me." She wiggled her fingers dismissively in response, but the look on her face broke his hearts. "Donna, please. Let me help..." He had barely moved his hand toward her face when she swatted it back.

"No!" Her voice was surprisingly strong, but it was clear that her reaction had cost her as she seized up slightly, trying to hide her pain and failing miserably. "I'm fine," she said softly between gasps, her voice quiet but still full of her usual fire. "Just give me a few minutes. I can reverse it," she breathed, "I know I can."

"Donna, you don't have the time to try. You're quick, but not quick enough."

"Shut up, Time Boy! Between the two of us, we can figure this out. Now leave me alone and let us think. And keep your blasted hands off me!" Her face screwed up in thought, although he half suspected it was in pain as well, and he reluctantly obliged what he desperately hoped wasn't her last wish, walking across the control room to tinker with some of the TARDIS' controls as she muttered to herself quietly. "If nothing else, there's always plan B. That oughta show him..."

He could hear her thinking aloud, occasionally rattling off a number or a piece of Gallifreyan history, followed by a soft laugh and, "Who would _possibly_ need to know that?"

Suddenly, the TARDIS jerked to a halt and was plunged into near darkness.

"ACTIVATING EMERGENCY PROGRAM ONE."

The Doctor had never been so angry at the TARDIS in his life. He aimed a huge kick at her control panel and shouted, "NOT NOW, GIRL, NOT NOW!" He and the TARDIS both knew he wasn't in any danger, and he was just trying to get Donna home safely, so why had she activated the..._Oh, no._ He ran back to Donna's side and checked her pulse. "Donna?" He pleaded with her to answer, but she wouldn't respond. He folded Donna up in his arms and pulled her from the jump seat, her head cradled against his shoulder, when he heard her plainly.

"Doctor?"

He jumped in surprise, accidentally dropping Donna to the floor. He bent down to help her and, to his amazement, she was soon standing right in front of him, looking much better than she had a moment ago. "Donna...how...?"

"Doctor."

"What? How did you...but that's _impossible_..."

"Oi, Spaceman! Pay attention!"

"Oh, Donna..." For once in his life, the Doctor was speechless.

"So now that I've got your brain, I know how to use the TARDIS. An outer space dunce in a brilliant mind, if you will." She smirked. "It turns out the TARDIS likes me quite a lot better than I thought. Hiding my hat box must have been her way of saying hello." She contemplated this. "Or it was you. Oi, did YOU hide them? I'll ruddy kill you, you...oh...sorry. I forgot."

The Doctor looked away from her for only a second. "Look at me, Sunshine! Nope, wrong. My eyes are up here!" Startled, he took his eyes off the floor and stared at her.

"I should probably explain how I pulled off this little trick. Of course, you know what Emergency Program One is; you invented it after all. But I improved it, changed it. It's like I told you, the universe was waiting for me. While you were out talking to Rose on the beach, and completely ignoring me, I might add, I decided to-" There was a pause, during which he knew she expected him to defend himself. He just shook his head.

"I'm teasing. You were outside and I decided to poke around the old girl a bit. I repaired that little glitch in the tribophysical waveform macro kinetic extrapolator by the way, so you shouldn't have any problem controlling the exact landing coordinates anymore. No more accidentally ending up in broom cupboards for you, Mister. Oh, and I'd have fixed the chameleon circuit - simple matter of reversing the cables from the isolinear circuitry and hot wiring them to the gamma posterization panel, wouldn't have taken five minutes - but I know how much you like the blue box motif, so I felt it best to leave it alone."

He gawked for a moment. _Brilliant, just brilliant._ She had his brain for less than a few hours, and she'd sorted things he hadn't worked out in over 900 years. He wanted to tell her how proud he was, but she was in the middle of quite a technological rampage and he wasn't about to stop her from enjoying herself.

"She showed me this, and I knew exactly what to do. And it's okay, Doctor, it really is." She winced slightly and put her hand to her temple. Then, looking like a kid caught with their hand in the cookie jar, she realized she was still being watched and quickly made it look like she was scratching her ear. "Nothing to worry about, really, side effects and all that. And if you even THINK about putting your hands there I'll...I'll...I'll get back to you on that."

He couldn't help but laugh and she continued over his sudden giggles. Obviously she hadn't expected them.

"-timed it just right. You about barged in on me when I was starting, but Rose had some 'all-important question' to ask you. Question, my foot, she wanted to snog you, didn't she? Tell me she wanted to snog you." Her eyes were a bit tired but she lit up like an overeager schoolgirl.

"She did. But I couldn't. It wouldn't be right. You know I had to leave her with my double." Donna seemed to reconsider her gleeful face and slowly continued.

"I know what you did, you dumb Martian, you pawned her off on your twin so she'd be happy. Slap yourself; I'm busy. Go on, do it." A short pause. "Come on, I'm waiting!" He swatted himself on the hand, and of course she knew he would, because she continued. "Much better. You're too selfless, you know that? You shove people away so they don't get hurt, and you were bloody well ready to do it to me, too. But I didn't let you, did I?" She smiled smugly and shook a bit. "Oh, that's annoying. Now then, Mister Attempted-Mind-Rape, what should we do with you?"

She smirked and pursed her lips, ruffling her hair and miming pulling on his glasses. "I think the Shadow Proclamation shut down their Crimes Against All Sanity department a few years ago, so that's out..." Another wave of pain hit her, to which she replied "Sorry about that" before pulling a face. A tear rolled down his cheek, and Donna straightened up as if on cue and shot him a glare.

"Stop that, I'm fine! Doctor, if you don't stop being such a baby...I swear, I'm not worth it."

The Doctor had had enough. "Donna Noble, you are brilliant! You always have been, and you always will be, and if you don't take that back right now I really WILL wipe your mind just to prove a point and you can go back to chips and temping and hiding yourself behind a mask of stupidity because you're so afraid to let everyone see how worth it you really are. You take it back!"

He was standing now, yelling inches from her face, but she simply stood there, as if waiting for him to finish. "TAKE IT BACK, RIGHT NOW!!" He glared at her with such intensity, such caring, and if he thought he could he would have slapped her like she'd done to him a thousand times before. Unable to let himself do so, he flopped down beside the jump seat again, hid his face between his knees and screamed in anger, all to cover his tears of rage. "Donna...Donna, I'm...I'm sorry."

Donna waited a moment longer, then looked him in the eye and said, "Don't worry, I believe you. I know, you think I'm brilliant, most important woman in the universe, all that and a bag of crisps." She stopped for a minute, and he wondered what, if anything, was going through her head. "I just wanted to get a rise out of you. You're so cute when you're angry," she winked at him and chuckled, putting a hand to her chest, still hurting but not about to admit it.

Then she surprised him by doing something she'd never done to him before: screaming at him. Not any old yelling, not playful banter or begging him to 'just save someone,' but true anger. He was taken aback as she yelled, her voice shriller than usual.

"And, you, Doctor, you dumbo, don't you DARE say you're sorry! Don't you dare! I've had the time of my life, and I wouldn't give it up for the world. It was _my_ _choice_, you got that, Alien Boy, MY CHOICE! None of this was your fault, so stop apologizing for things that I've done!"

She breathed heavily for a bit, then suddenly looked very peaceful. "It's okay, Doctor, it really is. I'll be fine, yeah?" She sighed, shook her ginger hair out of her face, and chewed her lip a bit in thought before continuing. "See? Perfectly fine. I know exactly what I'm doing."

"Oh, and as for you. I might not want you leaving me behind and swanning off, but I wouldn't want you alone either; I'm not a completely selfish cow, in case you were wondering. I told you before, you need someone. Oh, I know you said you didn't, but...well, you're a genius, Doctor, but you're incredibly thick." They both smiled, and she continued, looking brighter after she'd taken a deep breath. "And stop worrying about me, you silly git. As you can see, I'm perfectly all right." He looked at her and she indeed seemed all right, all things considered.

"Back to business, Doctor. I promised you an explanation. In my infinite wisdom, I set this to go off right around the time that I-" Suddenly, Donna whirled toward the door and disappeared, but the Doctor couldn't stop staring at where she had just been, waiting for her to come back. "Right about the time that you...?" He knew the answer already.

"That I die, you dunce," said a meek voice beside him, and he looked down again at Donna, the real Donna, not the hologram, her face pale and drawn but smiling at him like she'd just saved the universe single-handedly all over again. "Walked in on me, you prawn..." He was still holding her hand, keeping her close, and he helped her sit up as she whispered like she were a primary schooler telling her best mate a big secret.

"Set it up to react to my vitals, I did," Donna explained. "Did all the conversions and times in my head, calculated when my brain would give out, taking into consideration the metacrisis and how my own IQ affected the equation. Not that difficult really. I guess you're right," she laughed weakly, "I am brilliant."

The Doctor watched Donna, her eyes closing and her body becoming more relaxed. He grabbed her other hand and she smiled as he ran her fingers over the TARDIS controls, then he enveloped her in one last hug, placing her arms around him and smiling as she managed to squeeze back ever so slightly. Her slowly loosened and her head tilted back into his hand, her eyes closed, and the image of Donna flickered back on momentarily.

"Goodbye, Doctor," she said with a sad smile. "And thank you. Thank you for everything."

Emergency Program One, having done its duty, turned off and the TARDIS went back to her normal lighting, though she had obviously sensed the passing of a dear friend, for the lights were just a bit dimmer than usual.


End file.
